Words I Didn't Know: Balter

Balter : to dance or tread clumsily


Balter is a word that I feel like I could have known, but just barely missed. It’s so painfully close to ‘falter’ that I could even imagine having mistyped it and gotten curious when the squiggly red line didn’t pop up on a documentation platform.

It’s especially ironic given that I could arguably be considered a professional at baltering.

I’ve never been one for dancing. It’s not a natural expression for me in the slightest and it doesn’t really bring me much joy even when performing. During the infamous wedding reception dance sessions, I feel the pressure to dance with my friends, but I only make the move to the floor during line-dance pieces, such as the Cha-Cha Slide or the Cupid Shuffle.

Even still, my favorite part of those songs is whenever they end and I can go grab another piece of wedding cake.

I don’t consider myself as very high ranking in machismo - so I don’t think that my clumsy dancing is due to a lack of self-confidence or masculine pride. More than likely, it’s the lifelong challenge of being two heads above everyone around me.

Tall people don’t dance, I guess.

Or, at least, this tall person doesn’t.


March 4th, 2022